The Twitter beads are a collection of the funniest tweets that users of the micro-blogging service fabricate that. Our selection brings together the best of the best in every category!

Even if neither an account app download service is still available for mobile devices with a Twitter to be inclined interested can read about the best German tweets - and on Facebook (over 50,000 fans follow now the baby blue beads) and on the website.

Twitter beads

The matching beads Twitter for the most important situations in life

To place a certain overview not quite, there's sorted the best tweets by topic. And here are our absolute favorites:

Life is not for me

@Pokerbeats writes: If you have the choice to brush or the bathroom to go to the sports that series looks her then?

@lucky_mushroom writes: "Auaaa!" - "Did you burn yourself?" - No, in my culture we welcome hot food from the oven generally with song and dance .. "

@analograuschen writes: "I'm bored." - A set with an incredible number of calories!

@fumpgirl writes: If all else fails, you are too thick for the swing.


@__Pumpkin___ writes: I have a date today. The need to have it now. In the garden there is no space.

@Twelechtra writes: Relationships are beautiful because you have four middle finger for two.

@Killimanscharo writes: "In the mood for speed dating?" - "Sure! Bye!"

compassion & Trost:

@Hartweizenhirn writes: "Hey, why did you put pineapple and ham on the swollen eyes?" - "consolation Hawaii"

@tim_spohn writes: I'll do a wine shop and give all bottles names like "He does not deserve you," "This is just jealous" and "Fuck you all".

@JoeCandies writesI tinker me out of the shards of my life just a disco ball and dance.


@pinokju writes: Real men get everything pushed by the Abflusssieb.

@ Frog1979 writes: The sight of a necklines a woman reduced the male mind of the man by 50%. Per breast.

@ 7_gscheid writes: Men who ignore raised eyebrows in women lose precious seconds to escape.

Career & job

@der_Papa writes: "In the longer term," - - "What goal do you have?" - "Feierabend" "Weekend"

@DrWaumiau writes: In the office kitchen is a colleague with a large knife. Realist: Aha. Pessimist: DC is blood everywhere here! Optimist: Horny, cake!

@katjaberlin writes: I gave up and educate my Excel now anti-authoritarian. The time now is allowed to format each cell as it would like.

@regieklappe writes: "They have a gap on your CV." - "Yes. Was cool. "


@Schamyrha writes: If the wiser always gives way, the loser always get right. And suddenly I understand politics. "

@MaoriHH writes: that / that - since / are - they / you - man / man - Picture / Newspaper

@ Namenlos4 writes: Or we do it this way: the countries that supply weapons to conflict areas must receive refugees. Zack. Peace.

More Twitter pearls, visit Facebook, of course, on Twitter and on the site.